The dragon at the doorway to realization, or enlightenment, is nothing new to me. I’ve been facing it and allowing its inner purification for some time now, so the Crimson Circle’s recent ProGnost™ 2019 – The Dragon Enters program was very welcome to me. What surprised me was how much more real the dragon became for me, and how almost as soon as the program was over I felt it say, “I want to talk!” Or maybe it was more like, “You need to let me talk!”

“Wait, what?” my mind objected, even as I felt the energy and message already coming in, along with some of the most intense fear I’ve felt in a long time. And chaos, as though everything in my life was conspiring to bring up so many layers of guilt, shame and feelings of failure. And when I looked confused at the now very present dragon it just grinned and said, “Let me speak.”

But how dare I speak on behalf of the dragon? How arrogant would that be? How many people would think I’m just crazy, or overly dramatic, or a copycat? Especially when I could feel how the message was going to go, and that it wasn’t going to be gentle…

I managed to distract myself with the chaos for a week, and on January 23 a kind and gentle message from Soul came through. In it I felt her preparing me for the dragon’s message, and on the morning of the 25th I knew the time had come. As I sat down and began to breath into the channel my whole body began to shake, as waves and waves of terror and shame washed through me.

How many times have I been punished or shamed for speaking my truth, for being overly emotional, or simply for expressing what I feel? How many times have I condemned others for feeling or expressing things I didn’t agree with? How many times have I passionately expressed my truth, only to discover it wasn’t truth at all? And on and on… How dare I let this raw and emotional message come out of my mouth?

The dragon just stared at me in my mind’s eye, and waited for me to let out its roar.

When I finally did, the dragon spoke pointedly and directly about what it is and why it’s here, and why it’s so hard—and necessary—for us to face it. It’s not really a dragon at all, but that’s the perfect metaphor for what happens when our non-human senses start to come back in. We’ve asked for that, but what do you think happens when they come? We feel things. Layers and layers of things we’ve never felt before, and that the human has no idea what to do with. And what do you suppose we feel first? Ourselves, and all those things we’ve tried to avoid and not feel about ourselves. Our darkness.

That’s why it feels like a dragon, and why it will drive a person mad who looks in its eyes before they are ready to face their own darkness, their own shame and guilt. And it is why we can no longer go forward without looking in the eyes of the dragon, for we cannot proceed without all of our senses and all that they reveal. The human cannot do that, only the soul can, but as the “designated ascendee,” as some have called this incarnation, the human must participate by allowing the process and the feelings.

This is a raw and emotional message, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Most of the emotion is mine, but the dragon’s words and energies are pointed and direct. The dragon is not one to pussyfoot around or to soften the hard things that must be faced. But it’s also a very beautiful message, and much of it is about allowing your soul to come in so you can face the dragon, your own senses, together. Then the dragon becomes your greatest ally, and the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine in your life.

So, are you ready? Are you ready to face the deepest and darkest parts of yourself?

It’s not comfortable, but as I feel the deep clearing and cleansing that’s happening within me, I know it’s worth it. Here is the recording, and the text transcript is below. And please, if this means something to you, consider adding your energy in the form of dollars or euros. This seems to be my job now, and every bit is so appreciated! (Length: 59:37)

Transcript of Recording

The Dragon Speaks

Channeled by John McCurdy on January 25, 2019

This material is copyright and may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from me. Links to this page are always welcome, but no copy or translation may be posted on any other website, blog, newsletter, social media post or in any other form without my explicit permission. Thank you for respecting the love and energy that has gone into this work, and for your energy exchange!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!   [the dragon roars]

I am the voice of your dragon.

And if you think John sounds scared right now, you wait until you’re looking in my eyes. And you will be, because you’ve chosen that. Because you can’t go any farther until you do, until you look in my eyes and feel what you see there.

Oh, some of you are trying to pass me off, to turn me into a butterfly, before you’ve looked in my eyes, before you’ve felt the heat of my fire. You’re fooling yourself. Because you see, I’m not really a dragon.

Dragons are of myth. Dragons are of other dimensions, where you’ve created them as myths, and they’re the perfect metaphor for what you’re looking at right now.

Do you know what I really am? I’m your senses, your nonphysical, nonhuman senses. The ones you’ve been waiting for, wondering why they’re not here yet. Well, this is why.

You see, when those senses start coming in—oh, they’ve actually already been here. When you start letting go of your focus on your little human self enough to feel me again, to feel these senses, your senses, again, what do you think you’re going to feel? Joy? Peaches and cream? Roses? Flowers?

Yeah, that’s all there. But do you know what else is there? The rest of you. The rest of you that goes all the way back to the very beginning and before. The darkness of you. That’s what you’re going to feel when you get your senses back.

That’s why you can’t go forward any further until you look in my eyes, until you’re willing to take ownership of all of your creations, including the dark ones. Until you’re willing to feel that heinous, evil, miserable person that you were in another lifetime. In a lot of other lifetimes. Until you’re willing to celebrate that. Yes, to celebrate it! Until you’re willing to take ownership of all the evil things you ever did, and all the evil things that were ever done to you, to see them as your own creation and celebrate them.

Because until you do, you’re stuck. Until you do, letting in me, letting in your senses, is going to make you crazy. Literally.

Some of you are about to turn this recording off right now. “How can it be so negative?”

My dear friend, you can go if you want to. But at some point you’re going to be back here, because you can’t go forward until you face this. Because all of that, all of those things you don’t want to see and you don’t want to feel, they’re all part of you. Every one, every bit of it, they’re all your creation.

What you really don’t want to feel is the shame and the guilt. But if you want your senses, your real senses, if you want your realization, then you have to feel it. You have to face those things. There’s no other way.

And you’ve asked for it, so I’m here. Your senses are coming in. And if you’re still listening to this, then you’ve come to the point where you can’t stop me. You’ve made the choice.

So, open your mind’s eye. Before you look in mine, I want you to look into the eyes of your own soul. Your own I am.

Just stop for a moment. Humans are always running. Even when they’re standing still, even when they’re lying in bed, they’re always running. Running, running, running! Trying so hard to accomplish something or to figure everything out. It’s time to stop. Take a deep breath.

You can’t face me as the human. You will go crazy.

But you need me. You need me by your side. You need my wings. You need my magic. You need my beauty, my support. You need my feelings and my memories. But you can’t handle that as the human.

So you need to stop right now. Stop running. Allow yourself to feel the warmth of your own soul, your own I Am. Just feel it on your back like, like the warmth of the sun.

Turn around. Look into that light. It won’t hurt you, like the sun would. It’s soft. It’s tender and gentle. It’s your own essence.

Feel into her. Allow her to enfold you, to hold you.

You see, your soul and I are best of friends, because your soul sees everything. Everything you’ve ever been, everything you’ve ever done. And your soul has no judgment, no blame, for you or for anyone else. Your soul sees the most horrible things, and what she sees is the colors of them, and the threads that have gone into this incredible tapestry of experience.

From your soul’s perspective, from my perspective, it’s all so incredibly beautiful! Even the pain, even the things that you think are so horrible, they added the richest colors to your experience. And one day, maybe even today, you’ll begin to see the perfection, the beauty, and the joy of it all.

Yes, it hurt. So many of your experiences, they hurt. But they were not mistakes. You chose them. I chose them, your soul chose them. They were never mistakes.

From the moment you left home and forgot who you were, it wasn’t a mistake. From the first time you disappointed another being, or let them down, it wasn’t a mistake. When they disappointed you or let you down, it wasn’t a mistake. When you lashed out, you thought you hurt someone, it wasn’t a mistake. It was an experience.

What you forgot is that there is no such thing as hurt. Or perhaps we should say, there is no such thing as damage. There is only a perception of hurt, and that only exists because you forgot who you really are.

Then you came to Earth, and you forgot even more. You allowed yourself to be compressed down into this incredibly dense environment, and that hurt. That hurt so much.

Then you forgot even more, and you went through lifetimes and lifetimes and lifetimes of hurting people and being hurt by people. And again, the only real hurt is simply in the perception, in the forgetting. But nevertheless, you felt it. You felt the experience. And one of these days soon, as you let me in, you’re going to see the incredible colors that you carry as a result of those experiences.

But right now, you’re stuck. Right now you’re still trying to avoid being a bad person. Right now you’re still trying to avoid those feelings, and at the same time you’re asking for me to come in! Your dragon! Your senses! And this is creating chaos in your life.

If you’ve noticed things being a little bit weird lately, well, this is why. And the thing is, you’ve asked me to come in. You’ve invited me, so I’m coming in. Your senses are coming back. Your dragon as coming home, coming to be with you. And as scary as I feel right now, I’m your greatest ally.

Just imagine how life can be with me at your side. With my wings to carry you. With my magic in your life. With my gentleness holding you and easing your way.

But before we can get there, you have to look in my eyes and you have to feel what’s there. And you have to allow what’s there to be you. And what’s there is your darkness, your shame, your guilt.

Oh, John said, “I thought I’d faced all my shame and my guilt. Bring it on dragon, I’m ready to look at it!”

And then I showed up in his beloved wife’s eyes, and I showed him some new layers. As only a beloved soulmate can.

Oh, you all long for your soulmates, and it’s truly a beautiful thing. But there’s a reason that soulmates don’t come together too often, and that’s because I live in your soulmate.

When you look in your soulmate’s eyes, you’re going to see your darkness, and then you’re going to blame it on her or him. And then you’re going to run screaming away from each other and wonder why you couldn’t make it work.

Until you stop, and you allow your soul to come in to you. And you allow yourself to look at me, to look in my eyes, and in the eyes of your soulmate if that person is there, through the eyes of your soul. To see me, to see her or him, through your soul’s eyes. Until you allow yourself to see your own darkness reflected there, and to celebrate it.

It seems strange to celebrate evil things, evil things that you’ve done and evil things that have happened to you. It seems really strange to celebrate them.

My dear friend, that’s what it takes. That’s the key. And until you do, I’m going to be in your face, because you’ve asked for it. And because you can’t move forward another inch, except through me.

So take a look at your life. Take a look at the chaos. Take a look at the struggles. Oh, I don’t just show up in soulmate’s eyes now. I’m here. I’m here in your life and I’m going to show up any way I can!

I’ll show up through someone’s eyes in the grocery store. I’ll show up through your child’s eyes. I’ll show up anywhere and everywhere that I can. I’ll show up in your car, your automobile, and I’ll make chaos.

It’s not really me. It’s not really some external dragon. It’s that you’re starting to feel, and everywhere you look now you’re going to feel me. You’re going to feel yourself, every part of you, the deepest, the darkest, the ugliest parts of you.

And you say, “No, that wasn’t me. That was somebody else that did this evil thing to me! And I’m here to tell you, it was you.

No, you’re here to tell you, it was you.

It wasn’t that other person. They were just an actor on your stage. It was your creation. And until you own that, until you accept that, you can’t go forward.

Until you forgive yourself for that, not them, yourself, (which includes them). Until then, you can’t go forward, because you’re going to find me staring back at you through them, through everybody else.

You see, I’m not an external monster. I’m you. I’m your senses, and you can’t hide from your own senses. You can’t hide any longer from your feelings of guilt and shame.  You can’t hide from your own games anymore.

Oh, you play these games of energy, of conserving energy and finding bargains and cheating wherever you can and trying to get out of flowing the energy, exchanging the energy freely. You play all these games! You think you’re being smart, and you’re a fool.

Because you feel it, and you push it away. You Bury it deep, so you don’t have to feel that and feel the guilt and the shame from it. But you do feel it. And as you bring in your senses, your true senses, your soul senses, you can’t hide anymore. And that’s what I am.

And I come to you like a dragon, like an external monster, only I’m not outside of you and I’m not a monster. I’m just you, and you can’t hide from you any longer. You can’t hide those games from yourself. You can’t hide the guilt and the shame from yourself anymore, because you’ve called me in. And before I can be what you want me to be, before I can bring you my magic, you have to allow and celebrate every part of you. And then, when you do, oh, we’re going to have some grand times together!

Look in my eyes, dear one, if you are willing.

John looked in my eyes recently, and he said, “Dragon, I’m ready. Or at least I have no other choice anymore. So bring it on. Show me what I need to see.” And oh, I did, and he’s still integrating it. He thought he was going to lose everything in the last few days, but he’s not.

Life gets so incredibly beautiful when you’re willing to look in my eyes and to celebrate what you see there. But you have to understand that the first things you’re going to see in my eyes are your darkness. Every bit of it, and you can’t hide from it anymore. And you can’t play those games anymore.

And you can’t hide from yourself. I’m going to be here. I’m going to be watching you. I’m going to be watching, when this recording is over. I’m going to be watching the energy exchange that you make, or don’t make.

Oh, John’s not watching. He’s thrilled that there’ve been a couple dozen energy exchanges on his website lately. But I’m watching the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people that have downloaded his beautiful channels, and never made any exchange at all.

That’s okay. John just smiles, because some people did. But what you need to understand is that I’m your dragon, and I’m watching those games. And I’m watching how you hide them from yourself, how you hold on so tight to the energies. It’s your choice. But at some point you have to look in my eyes, and I see it all, because I’m you. I’m your senses.

So you’ve called me in, dear one. I’m here. You’re way past the choice. I’m here whether you like it or not. You can fight me, and you know who’s going to win that battle. I’m a lot bigger than you, and I breathe fire!

Or you can look in my eyes and face yourself, and forgive yourself. I you the human, you’re like, “Okay, come on dragon. I’ll look in your eyes and I’ll forgive myself.” And you look, and you run screaming away because you can’t stand what you see. You can’t stand the reflection of you that you see, so you blame it on everybody else and run away. And you forget that there is no place in the life of a master for blame. Because it’s your creation. Every bit of it is your creation, and nobody else’s.

So come back. Look in my eyes again, but not by yourself. Bring your soul. Allow her to accompany you, to enfold you, to hold you as you look, and she’ll show you a different perspective. She’ll show you a perspective of you that you’ve never seen before. And then you’ll begin to feel the beauty, the incredible beauty of you, and of all that you are and all that you have ever done.

And then, you’ll begin to feel my magic, and my love, for you. Then I will be that soft little butterfly, when that’s what you need me to be. And I’ll be your fire-breathing protector, when that’s what you need. And I’ll carry you on my wings and we’ll soar through the universe when that’s what you need, what you desire. But every part of you is coming along for the ride, because it’s you.

You’ve been fooling yourself for so long, trying to hide from those parts, thinking you could blame it all on somebody else. It was all you. It all your creation. Now it’s time to let it in. Now I’m here, and you can’t fool me. I’m your dragon. I’m your senses, and I’m here, in service to you.

Even when I breathe fire on you to burn away the illusions and the stupidity—yes, that’s a strong word, and I’m here at a burn it away so that you, as all that you are, as your soul, as the human, as all that you are, can take full ownership of you. So that you can see the beauty of who you are. So that you and your soul can be united in a whole new way. For that, my friend, is realization.

This is a difficult time. It’s a time you’ve asked for. It’s a time of purification. You have to understand that it’s not a time of burning away the darkness, the parts of you that you don’t like. That’s not what purification is. The real purification is in the acceptance and the celebration of those things.

When you can look back at the horrible monster you were in some other time or place or lifetime and smile at the beauty of that adventure. That’s purification. When you can look back at the horrible things that other people have done to you and smile, and thank them for their contribution to your experience, and to your wisdom, that’s purification.

You see, you’ve always wanted me to come and do battle with those things and those other people. That’s not why I’m here. My fire is not here to burn them up or push them away. My fire is here to burn up your sword, so that you will finally stop battling with your own self. Because that’s all it has ever been.

It’s a big battle with your own self. You thought you were battling others. You thought you were protecting the good, battling against the evil. It’s all been a big battle with your own self. And an incredible, beautiful, amazing experience.

Yes, that’s hard for the human to see or to understand. You’ll only be able to see it or understand it through the eyes of your soul, of your I Am that I Am.

If you’re not sure how to bring that in, the two most recent channels on John’s website can help. There’ll be more.

Look in my eyes, dear one. I’m only you. But I’m all of you. And I see everything, and I hold everything. So when you look in my eyes, allow. Allow all that you see. Allow yourself to feel it.

And when you find me in your life creating chaos, burning away things that don’t matter—oh, you think they matter, but they don’t. When you find me looking back at you through another person, take a deep breath. Feel the warmth and the love of your soul, and allow what you see. Allow what you feel. And try to see it through your soul’s eyes.

We’ll talk more, if you’re willing. Know that I am here. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m watching you.

YOU are watching you.

I’m feeling you. I am seeing every little game you play, trying to hide from yourself, because you asked me to.

You can fight me, but it’ll hurt.

Or you can come closer. Walk into my fire, look into my eyes, with the love of your own soul surrounding you. And then see what happens.

And so it is.

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