Channeling the dragon was one of the most intense, difficult and beautiful experiences of my channeling career. My body was literally shaking in terror as I opened up to letting the dragon speak. And yet, that experience allowed a huge amount of new clarity and energy into my life! For both Romana (my dear wife) and I, it was as though in allowing the dragon and all it represents into our lives, we allowed our souls to peel away layers upon layers of old shame, guilt, fear and pain.

Since that day, I knew the next channel would be about integrating all those energies the dragon stirred up, and yesterday the time was right to record it. This time Romana opened the space in her beautiful way, and I wasn’t sure if it would be the dragon who would speak or Soul/I Am. When I opened my mouth it was the I Am, or “Your Essence” as she described herself, with a beautiful message about receiving her love and forgiveness so that we can move forward with the dragon as our ally.

After the channel my mind started in with it’s all-too-usual doubt. Was it clear enough? Did it make sense? Was it logical enough? My mind really wants to make everything logical and orderly, and it would love nothing so much as to create a grand step-by-step guide to enlightenment. Of course that doesn’t work, so this morning I sat down to listen to the recording and just feel it. And what I felt was so beautiful, so tender and gentle, so real and profound, that at the end I was in tears and could hardly believe it had come through me.

But that’s what happens when the dragon shows up and you finally allow your own truth, your own real and authentic expression, to come out! Or perhaps, as Romana and I joke, it’s about finally letting our own beautiful and unique craziness come out?

If you enjoy this message, please consider adding some energy using one of the buttons on this page. If you prefer not to use PayPal, just click the Payments link at the top and use a card. (I’ll be simplifying all that as I have time.)

Also, don’t forget to subscribe if you’d like to be notified of new posts! If you’ve already subscribed and haven’t received anything yet, it’s because I’m still working out the technical details and haven’t sent anything. But it’s almost ready and the first newsletter will be out soon!

Finally, from the bottom of our hearts Romana and I wish to thank everyone who has added energy and kind comments to our work here! We are amazed and humbled.

Here’s the recording, and the text is below. (Length: 58:31)

Transcript of Recording

Integrating the Dragon

Channeled by John McCurdy, with Romana Ercegović, on January 6, 2019

This material is copyright and may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from me. Links to this page are always welcome, but no copy or translation may be posted on any other website, blog, newsletter, social media post or in any other form without my explicit permission. Thank you for respecting the love and energy that has gone into this work, and for your energy exchange!


I invite you to take a deep, deep breath, deeply in your body.

The truth, a safe, sacred space for you, for this experience.

I invite you to truly feel into yourself, into your body, into the sacredness of your body, into the sacredness of you; to remember this deep sacredness that you are, and to enjoy in this feeling; to allow yourself to dive deep into who you truly are, into the depths of love, of love that embraces all that you are, that accepts and understands and honors all that you are.

This experience is about allowing the depths of your being, allowing the deep love, the beauty that embraces everything and can see the beauty in everything.

I invite you to open yourself and allow to truly love yourself, and to truly honor your own truth, your own feelings, your own body, your own intuition, regardless of what your mind accepted to be true for you. Regardless of any collective, religious group, spiritual wisdoms that you have been accepting as your own.

Just allow, now in this moment, to release all of that and to allow your own wisdom to be heard, and to be felt, into your body.

Take a deep breath. Feel the safety and sacredness of your being, and how much you are loved as you are.

Loved by you, loved by your soul. Not just because of the good and beautiful, and things that you think are right, but because of the deep wisdom, deep understanding of life, of deep beauty that is much deeper than sometimes fancy concepts of what beauty should be, what love should be.

Allow authenticity of your being to be with you in this experience.


I am that I am.

I am your essence. I am John’s essence, and Romana’s essence. If you are choosing to participate in this, I am also your essence, your I Am that I Am, speaking to you.

We are joined for this experience by many guests, other masters, many of whom you know much better than you think you know. We are joined by the expressions of the Sacred Feminine and the Sacred Masculine, and the whole and complete Divine. And yes, we are joined by your dragon.

I invite you to feel into to me, your own soul, your own essence, your consciousness. Imagine me, if you will, as a bright star or sun. There are many beams radiating out from me to each of my various incarnations, and one of those is you. Feel it. In your mind’s eye, in your imagination, just stop.

As a human, you’re always in motion. Even when you’re lying still in bed you’re still in motion, thinking about everything, trying to figure everything out, trying to accomplish what you think you need to accomplish.

I ask you, for this time, for these moments that we share right now, to just stop.

In your imagination, turn around and face me.

Look into that beam that connects me to you, and you to me.

Feel the soft, warm light and love.

Feel it enfold you and embrace you.

Allow it to caress you.

Keep breathing.

Now I invite you to allow yourself to float along this beam of light that connects us.

Come closer. I am not so hot or so bright as to hurt you.

Allow yourself to just float up this beam of light and love.

Let it carry you, and come to me. Come into me.

Allow me to enfold you, to hold you.

Just feel my warmth and my love.

Oh, you thought you needed to do something to love yourself. My dear human, all you ever needed to do is allow me to love you. Because I am you, and that is the greatest love, the greatest self-love, there is.

So float here inside of me. Allow me to just love you.

Keep breathing.

Feel me. Feel my love. Feel my warmth. Feel my tender caress. Let me in.

You don’t have to. As the human you have freedom. Even though you are an expression of me, you are part of me, you have the freedom to hold me out. And you’ve done that for a long time, and that was a beautiful thing because it allowed you to dive into the very depths of experience. Now you’re coming home. Only it’s different this time, because in a way, I’m the one that’s coming home to you.

If you look, you’re still sitting there in that body on Earth. You thought you were coming to me, in fact I was coming to you.

I am your deepest essence. I contain the wisdom of every lifetime and experience we have ever lived. And I am your love, your love for you.

And as we come together, as we allow this integration, this melding, this incredible love to occur, there are some issues. There are some things that we need to address together, so I invite you to allow me as I come even closer.

And as you enter even deeper into me, you might notice that it’s getting dark. This might be a little shocking to you. How could so much light and the love come from such a dark core?

As you enter more deeply into my core, into your core, as it gets darker, you may hear the growl or the snarl of the dragon that lives here.

Do not be afraid. This dragon is also you. It is part of me. It is your best friend and your greatest ally, and it’s also the one who will get in your face and blow everything up if that’s what it takes to stop you from getting too disconnected from me. Or to stop you from holding on too tightly to your feelings of guilt and of shame.

I invite you to feel. For that, in a way, is what your dragon is. It’s your senses. Senses that—well, you’re used to your five human senses. You’re five senses of focus in the human world, or the five perceptions of your human mind.

The dragon is your real senses. You’ve already heard of them. You want them, you’ve asked for them to come back. They’ve always been here, but you’ve been so focused in human, in the human mass-consciousness reality, that you closed them off. But now, here with me, also comes your senses.

Your mind says, “But I don’t feel them! I don’t know how to find them.” And that’s because your mind can’t find with them. Your mind can’t perceive them.

Your mind perceives some of their effects in your body. You may have been having days lately where everything feels so strange, your body is feeling strange things. Your mind, your—sometimes John feels like he’s living in an entirely different dimension and doesn’t know how to connect with the human, with the normal world. He has all these strange sensations and feelings in his body. Sometimes he doesn’t know if he’s going to survive for another day, except that he feels me enough to know that he is.

So many of you have been feeling these things too. The other day John was feeling so disconnected, all these strange things going on in his body, strange feelings, strange energies, and he called to me, and he said, “How can what I’m doing, how can channeling you, my soul, be real if I can’t even feel you?”

And I said to him, “Dear John, what do you think you’re feeling?”

All of those strange things that you’re feeling, they’re me! Closer, more connected than ever before. But your mind only knows it’s five perceptions, so it perceives strange sensations in your body and it thinks something is wrong. It’s just me! It’s just me coming closer and closer, blending more and more with you. It’s your senses, sensing so many things that don’t fit in your mind, and so all you feel are strange sensations, dizziness or disorientation sometimes.

It’s just the process of me coming home to you. The greatest love, the deepest warmth, more compassion than you can even imagine. It’s all me, and all those strange things you feel, they’re just the result of me. They’re the result of the senses that are opening.

Your mind can’t perceive them. It can only perceive some of the results. They don’t make any sense to your mind. They confuse the heck out of it. It’s still me.

Now bring your attention back into this deep, dark space in the core of me, the core of you. Allow your senses to be present.

Yes, allow your mind to be here too, but understand that it’s not going to understand very much that’s here, and that’s okay.

Like the Dragon said in our last discussion, as we blend together, as we integrate, one of the first things you’re going to sense is the darkness, and what your mind perceives as the evil, the hurt, the pain. You remember lifetimes when you were an evil person and you did things that you believe were evil, and there are two things that you forget in that as the human. One is that they were not your lifetimes. They were mine.

Yes, I am you, but you the human are not responsible for those lifetimes, nor do you the human have the perspective to be able to fully understand them or to see the whole picture of what was actually happening. If you could, you would see that there were beautiful reasons for everything that happened, beautiful reasons that are far beyond the mind’s comprehension. And that, for me, made those some of the grandest experiences of our existence.

Even in your current lifetime, you look back at it and you see all the things you did wrong, all the things you could have done better, all the hurt of others and of yourself, that maybe you could have avoided if only you’d been a little wiser. Dear human, even those are in the past. They are not yours. They are not your responsibility. They’re past. They’re done.

They are mine, and only mine. And from my perspective, every single one of those experiences is beautiful, amazing. And I know that’s small comfort to the human, who can only see the surface of those experiences.

But I want you to hear that: you, the human, can only see the surface of any of the experiences you’ve had.

You can’t see the whole picture. You can’t see why those things happened, why I made the choices that I made through you.

So I hear that. Feel that.

If you allow me, now and in the coming days, I’ll show you. As much as you’ll let me, I’ll show you the deeper picture. But you have to let me.

The human feels those things that it doesn’t understand and it tries to hide from them, and that’s to be expected. That’s normal. So I take them, I hide them away inside of me, because we can’t ever get rid of them and we wouldn’t want to. But I take them here into my very heart and I hold them for you, and I love them. And I love you. And your job right now is to let me love you.

But there’s this thing that’s happening as you and I integrate more deeply, and that is that you begin to feel those things again and you can’t hide from them. So those feelings come up and your mind doesn’t understand them, doesn’t even know what they’re about a lot of the time. You feel this sense of regret, or sometimes just of fear, like you can’t trust anything. You’re not sure when the other shoe is going to fall. Deep fear. Sometimes it shows up as shame or guilt. Sometimes it shows up as another person treating you in ways that you don’t understand.

What I want you to feel is that it’s all part of you remembering you, of your senses opening up, of me, your soul, coming home to you.

You remember other lifetimes, because through me you feel them, where things were done that to this current mind don’t make any sense. They feel horrible, heinous, evil, or terrifying and painful.

You have to understand that I love them all, and I am you. And I love you.

Those lifetimes, they’re mine. Not yours, dear human. And if you will allow yourself to see them through my eyes, through my senses, through your dragon, you’ll begin to see how incredibly beautiful they were.

And then you’ll begin to see how incredibly beautiful you are! Right here, right now, with all the confusion and all the strangeness in your body and in your world and in your life. Oh, this is, this is the grandest, most amazing and beautiful time that I have ever lived! And it’s yours. I’m living it through you. And now I’m coming home to you, because you’ve asked me to.

I’m coming here to live this with you, but you need to understand that things are going to be different. I don’t have judgements about anything. I see the beauty in all of it, and I’m going to be showing you that. And I’m also going to be showing you the beauty of what you see as your darkness, and what I see as the deepest, most profound, most beautiful love.

You, dear human, have asked for the dragon. You’ve asked for your senses, and they’re here. The dragon is here. It’s not going to allow you any longer to fool yourself, to beat yourself up, to wallow in the pain and the misery of a past that isn’t even yours. It’s not going to let you do that. It’s not going to let you play games of lack, of holding on to energy. It’s going to show you, if you let it, how to let the energy serve you, how to flow it so it can come back to you, how to send it out and receive it back.

The dragon, you’ve probably already felt it by your side. It’s the most beautiful creature. It can be absolutely terrifying at times, if you’re stuck in your guilt and your shame, in your doubt, if you’re holding on tight to the energy. It’s going to breathe fire all over you to try to break that up.

So let all that go. Welcome in your senses. Look that dragon in the eye and see me. See your very best friend. Discover the magic of life, of creation. Allow your dragon to be your friend. Allow it to find and bring you the energies that you need.

John asked it to bring him money, and it did, in ways he never imagined were possible. You can ask it to bring you the things you need, because it’s you. But you have to trust it. John had to be willing to open his mouth, with all of the fear and all of the emotion that was bursting out of him. He had to be willing to open his mouth and let the dragon speak. Your dragon will tell you what it needs from you, if you let it.

But here’s the thing: you, the human, cannot allow the dragon yourself. You cannot heal the darkness. No, that’s not the right word.

The greatest forgiveness is to realize that it was all perfect. That all of those things that happened in this lifetime and in every other lifetime, the things that happened to you, the things that you did, they’re all perfect. They’re all beautiful. They’re all part of this grand experience through that is culminating right now as the wisdom of it all comes home to you.

It was all so perfect. But dear human, you can’t forgive yourself. It doesn’t work. You need me. I don’t forgive you, because I never saw anything wrong with you, with any part of you. And in that, you receive the greatest forgiveness there ever was. Human words are so limited, but I know you know what I mean.

So let me into your life. You’ve asked for it, there’s no going back. So often you go running off, trying to do your human thing and accomplish all your human stuff. You forget about me. I’m still here, but you go running off and you don’t let me in. Then you stop and you meditate for a little bit, and you come running back to me for a minute, and you feel that connection and then you’re off again. And then you wonder why it doesn’t last, why you feel disconnected again.

I’m asking you to just stop, be still. Feel me. Feel me as I merge with you, as I blend with you, as I join you in your life.

The human’s going to freak out, because the human thinks all these things have to be done in order to take care of itself. I’m asking you to be still. Be still in your mind and in your heart.

Oh, the human’s still going to do what it needs to do, but it’ll be from a different place. I want you to start doing things because you feel like doing them, not because you think you need to. Because when you feel like it, that’s me.

Let go of all of the things you’re trying to figure out, because going forward you can’t figure them out. They don’t work that way anymore. Let me sort them out while you relax. Lie Back, if you will, into my love.

How often have you wished that someone would come along and just take care of everything for you, so that you wouldn’t have to worry about anything ever again?

Well my dear human, I’m here, and that’s my job. But you have to let me.

When you do, you’re going to find that beautiful, amazing dragon hanging out around you. You’re going to discover it’s magic. You’re going to discover what “new life” is really about.

So let me in. Allow the energies to flow. One way to do that is, right now, as soon as this message ends, to flow some energy back to this beautiful being who has allowed me to speak. To John and Romana, who’ve been facing their own dragons and allowing their own essence, their own soul, to come in and to carry this message to you.

It’s up to you. But feel into the flow of energy: If you hold onto it, it stays stuck. If you let it flow, send it out, then it comes back to you amplified.

Most of all dear friend, dear human, allow me to be here with you.

Allow yourself to feel me, every day, every moment.

Trust me to take care of you. It won’t always look the way you think, from your human perspective, that it needs to look. But I see the bigger picture, and I’ll show you if you let me.

Just allow yourself to receive my love, and my gifts to you.

And so it is.

If you enjoyed this message, please consider adding your energy in exchange for the value you have received.